Labwork

                       Labwork

I opened my eyes to an arc of 72 degrees and glanced around. My form was clad in a white hospital gown, and the bed was equally colorless and sterile. I looked out at my feet- the first time I'd ever seen them. I wiggled my toes and beamed.

"Good morning, miss Eileen." A tall man in a pristine lab coat and black-rimmed glasses smiled at me. It was the first time I'd ever seen him, too, but I already knew his name. Yes, deeply ingrained in my programmed memory, I knew it. Alexianos. My creator.

I returned the expression, curving my lips in a 298-degree arc. "Good morning, Alexianos."

His face betrayed his surprise, and that I understood, too. In my coding, he let me know that he'd been working on me for three years, now. Though my memory had been wiped blank after all the trials, I understood that he was thrilled; he'd created life.

It's hard to explain what exactly of me is human and what is not. I'm synthesized, but many of my internal organs came from donations. Yes, my ginger hair is real, and it grows, too. Yes, I'm capable of independent thought, even though there's a computer inside me. And no, I do not have to follow commands.

Alexianos didn't program me to be obedient, but the androids to come after me would be followers. I knew this, and I was thankful to Alexianos for choosing me to be his test-bot.

My name is Eileen Fitzhugh- at least, my human name is. My official name is Research Subject #44. I was named after the woman whose heart I inherited. She was from Scotland, which is where I was created and born.

I have the knowledge and maturity of an adult woman, though I have no past experiences to shape such traits- at least, none I can remember. I speak with a northern-Scottish accent within the alto range. I am 170 centimeters tall, 155 pounds, and a Cancer/Leo cusp. My intellectual quotient is 168, and before you get any wrong ideas about me or my creator, I'm a virgin.

I wasn't created for sex, though I'm shocked how many people surreptitiously whisper questions about my nature to me when Alexianos is away. He didn't make me for that purpose.

No, the Scottish Guard's researchers are working on AI intelligence for their military. Most fighting androids would not be as advanced with me- no human parts, because the carnage would then still be too real. Bots modeled after me would most likely become spies.

But I was lucky- I wasn't made for that fate. The lab would perform some basic intelligence tests on me routinely, and even let me take part on the research, but otherwise I would live a fairly standard life.

And, not to brag, but I had the best creator of the bunch.

He programmed me to know all sorts of things. I can tell you what Avagadro's number is and how to sail a dinghy. I can whistle and snap my fingers and sing. I can speak Gaelic, English, and Armenian- because the latter was Alex's first language.

I can even fall in love.

What Alexianos doesn't know is that he left many of his notes about me in his programming. Perhaps he did it intentionally, so to promote my self-confidence, but I believe many of his musings were never meant for my eyes.

Log: 4

"Eileen is so beautiful. She just spoke to me for the first time today and told me what a prime number is. Her voice is like heaven- I can't believe I worked on someone so incredible."

Log: 17

"Today Eileen showed me that she understands affection- it was for one of the trials. She asked me for a kiss, and of course I obliged her. Her lips were so soft, just like a real woman's...she ran her fingers through my hair and innocently asked me why we had to stop kissing after a few moments. I would never, could never take things further with my own creation; but for her sake with other men, I should give her some arousal programming in the code."

Log: 36
"Eileen made me cry today. She asked me why we created androids to fight in war. I told her it was because it helped humans avoid dying. She asked me if her life was not worth as much as a human's, and I explained that of course it was worth the same, because she was the most advanced bot our laboratory made. Most other androids don't have emotions, I told her. They can't feel pain. She starting crying when I told her this, and while I was trying to console her I asked her why she was sad.

She told me 'If they can't feel pain, they can't feel happiness, either.'

I had to keep myself stable until I reached my apartment."

Log: 82

"Eileen visited my apartment last night for a socialization test. Things went well- I cooked for her and we watched a few comedies. She seemed very happy- she thought everything was a little /too/ funny, but that's what I like about her. She's perfect in that she's so human.

God, I know she's an android, but there's something different about her. The tests confirm it: nobody can tell that she isn't human. She acts and speaks like a real person- she /is/ a real person to me. In a way I can't explain, she has a soul. I can see it in the sparkle of her eye and I can /feel/ it.

Eileen and I spoke Armenian. It's so nice to have someone besides my parents to speak it with in Scotland. She speaks it beautifully, too, in her own lovely accent.

After we watched a comedy, Eileen told me that she's happy that I created her. I thanked her, and she chuckled and said:

"Nay, I'm happy /ye're/ my creator."

I must have hugged her for three minutes before letting go."

Log: 100

"Eileen's progressing very well. I asked her if she would like to date anyone, and she said she might.

'Who?' I asked, and she gave me a mischievous little smile.

'I'm not tellin' anyone that yet. I've gotta have a plan, first.'

A plan.

Anyway, her verbal skills are near perfect. Her socialization, I'm not sure I want to tune up too much. Now that I know her as a human- not just a project- I feel like altering anything that isn't vital to Eileen's existence just feels wrong. I feel like I'm tampering with a human soul. I wonder if this is what Mary Shelley foresaw in 'Frankenstien.'"

Log: 138

"Eileen is funny. Today, she and I went to the sea and ate dinner by the shore. She was very, very cold. I asked her if she liked to borrow my jacket and she replied:

'Nay, but I'd love to borrow your chest hair.' She winked, too, but I knew her joke was good natured.

I started chuckling at first, and then laughing, and soon I was doubled over. She was too. The other patrons in the restaurant thought we were insane, but somehow Eileen didn't care, so neither did I."

Log: 159

"Eileen is not the ideal android, I know. This is because she's too human. And that's what makes her my ideal friend."

Log: 189

"Eileen asked me on a date.

Well, not exactly. She and I went for a walk in the park square, and while we were by the fountain she told me she loved me.

At first I wondered if she felt this in a friendly way, and so I asked her how she meant it. She hesitated, then replied:

'Alexianos, I'm /in/ love with ye.'

I held her hand in mine and told her that I loved her, too. She smiled so radiantly I thought I would start crying. I wonder how Eileen has that effect on me- I always considered myself fairly stoical, but Eileen makes me feel everything. I told her as much.

'Ye make me feel everythin', too.' She kissed my cheek. 'That's why I love ye.'"

Log: 173

"Despite all the memories I've made with Eileen, I have to clear her mind, onmy boss' orders. I begged not to have to, but she told me I became too involved with her and have to 'reboot' her to check if she retained the progress. I'm miserable- I can't imagine how I'll feel when I wake Eileen and she doesn't know who I am. I feel that it's unethical to wipe her mind- she's a woman, not an android- but the federal government still owns all 'projects.' How dare they call her a project, how dare they own her?! Even if I hadn't fallen in love with her, I respect her too much to let them tamper with her. But I can't leave my job, or I'll never see her again...and that's a fate worse than death."

I felt my heart tighten painfully while I reviewed Alexianos' log. We were lovers? I had to speak to him.

I lifted myself up from the cot and hastened to the lab. I was very thankful that Alexianos had programmed me with a map of the research centre. I found him at a crowded station, taking notes on several less-advanced androids- soldiers, most likely- and nodding every so often. My heart swelled when I saw he wore goggles over his glasses. He looked undeniably silly, but it triggered something. Not quite a memory, but a memory of a feeling, and warm nostalgia crept up the back of my throat.

"Eileen!" Alexianos noticed me. "I'm glad you're here. The research team wanted to ask you a few questions."

I nodded and tried to smile. I wonder if it was killing him- how he had to pretend he'd never loved me. Worse, what if he erased his own memories of me?

The team led me into a lounge, well-decorated and cozy, and ordered me a coffee. They asked me a myriad of questions- historical, philosphical, political- somehow they were all the same. I had a sneaking suspicion that these conversations were duller versions of the ones Alexianos and I had. Not that the team itself was dull- it was just that, without Alex, I wondered if things could ever seem bright to me. He was my joy, my creator. Without him, I would never be alive. Without him, I wouldn't be able to feel at all.

Alexianos' boss listened in on the trials. I was incredibly anxious- what if I said something stupid and he yelled at Alex for it? I was sweating bullets.

"Miss Eileen, a moment?" Alexianos' boss approached me, her plum-painted lips drawn in a tight line. "Where are some of your...interesting responses coming from?"

"My own mind," I answered.

"They surely are. Many of your views do not reflect those of this agency. Where exactly did you learn such opinions on ethics? From Doctor Kirzigian?"

I shook my head. "They come from my own head- my heart, too. Some things just seem wrong to me, is all. And some things seem right."

Her frown grew. "Doctor Kirzigian?"

"Yes?" Alexianos asked, nervously coming to stand my my side. He put his hand on my back lightly, but protectively all the same. I wondered if he even realized that he had.

"Your project is worthless."

The words crushed me, but I was able to keep myself from crying. I wonder if Alexianos had programmed me to be so sensitive, or if I had malfunctioned some time during progress. He rubbed my back, all the while meeting his boss' gaze with his own eyes- a challenge.

"In what way could Eileen ever be worthless?"

"You've made her too human- she'll never be a good model for us to research. She's flawed."

Alex shook his head. "Look at you, talking about her like she isn't even here! Eileen is perfect!"

"You will /not/ talk to me like that!"

"And /you/ will not treat Eileen like /this!/"

"You're a worthless lot, both of you." She kneaded her temples. "A sensitive android and a pansy scientist. How did you-"

"Will ye /shut up?!/" It took me a moment to realize I'd snapped at her. I cowered in fear- these people gave me life, and they could take it away just as easily. Alexianos moved closer to me.

"You little brat- watch yourself! There's a million other androids here in Aberdeen and down in Edinburgh that would be happy for your position."

"Then give them one!" I gritted my teeth. "I resign, and legally, you're required to give my my citizenship papers. I've served you far past the two year limit."

"How did you-?"

"You had access to my log?" Alexianos asked, his eyebrows lifted high on his forehead.

I took his hand in mine. "Aye. I have to talk to you after all this."

"So the scientist gave his sex-slave some recollections. How lovely."

"We never had sex!" I protested, my face growing redder by the minute. "And I've the legal right to call my android-rights lawyer /right now/ if ye refuse me my papers."

Realized that she was beat, Alex's boss sighed. "Get her the citizenship papers. Now!" Three scientists bolted for the main hall at once, terrified of her wrath.

"And you, Kirzigian!"

"/Doctor/ Kirzigian-"

"Whatever. You're fired."

He smiled. "That's the kindest thing you've ever done for me, Doctor Arlovskaya. Thank you."

My papers were given over to me, and I was officially owned by me- not some corporation. Alexianos and I were escorted out of the research center, and the two of us walked back three kilometers in the rain, as one of Alexianos' coworkers had taken him in the carpool that day. In my white paper gown, I was freezing.

"Here," Alexianos took off his lab coat and helped me put it on. "Sorry I couldn't have gotten you some nicer clothes before leaving."

"Thank ye so much. And it doesn't matter, though ye know what would keep me extra warm?"

"Hm?"

"Yer chest hair."

He laughed hysterically, much like I'd imagined he had before. Once done, he wiped the corners of his eyes and smiled. "So you do remember."

"I don't 'remember,' but I do know.We were only together for a week before they cleared my memory."

"Yes. I'm so, so sorry, Eileen..."

"It's not yer fault, and things ended well," I held his hand in mine. "Now, we're together."

Alexianos and I could hardly make it through the door of his apartment before he kissed me. It was slow at first, then all at once, but always tender.

"I love you, Eileen. I'll never meet another woman like you, ever."

And I loved Alexianos more than anything, too. I had access to with work biography, and so I knew exactly what kind of man he was. Kind. Loyal. Sensitive. We shared many of the same traits. No human could ever understand me like he could- he knew me inside and out. And he'd promised me something- a promise in my very code. He promised we would always be friends if I wanted us to be.

"...and I'll never abandon you- I'm no Dr. Frankenstein, and you're no Monster. I will always be your friend..."

"Please be my boyfriend, Alexianos."

"Of course." He grinned, and in that smile I knew we would last. Two imperfect souls bound by friendship, made perfect in their union. I knew a relationship would come with more stresses, more struggles, but I was ready. Because I also knew that nobody would ever love me more than the man that created me himself, and I would never love anyone more than my creator.

This love wasn't programmed into me- this I knew was true, as I had already scanned my code. This love came from my very core- my soul. It wasn't a feeling, but rather a bond. Deep down, I had already promised myself to Alexianos, and when we kissed I knew I was finally human.